It goes without saying for those of you that know me well, that this last few months have represented a rough patch in my life. In almost every aspect of my life, there has been some measure of turmoil. I kept hoping this was just a bumpy patch along the way to smoother air. The most truthful analysis of this period is that this not the case.
It appears that what I am experiencing is either the new normal, or the birth paigns of a new phase of my life. In either case, I have been forced to take stock of where I am currently and evaluate it with a critical eye. I am not fond of certain aspects of this current context. I am less fond of certain new additions to it. Even less fond of the lack of control I have over a lot of it.
Which brings me to my first admission. I am not a person that handles powerless well. It has been a fundamental truth that has defined me for my entire existence. I hate being unable to change things. I hate being able to fix things. I despise the things that force me into a place of powerlessness.
This leaves me in a simple place. I can either continue to tolerate that which makes me powerless or I can part company with those things and move along to something else. I am keenly interested to use jeffersonian language, 'in the course of human events there come moments in which...'. I am hesitant to do so, as I am person given to hyperbole and in some cases over-reaction.
I am forced to spend time in quiet contemplation and consider the situation before me. Not in that angry with it, screw this sort of fashion, which is little more than complaining and whining. Rather I have been reviewing it in detail and from a holistic perspective. I have taken time to pray and meditate on the situation.
The inescapable conclusion I have arrived at it is simple, I am where I am supposed to be at least for the immediate future. God planted me here for a reason, and that reason has not been invalidated currently, so until a clear exit visa is granted by my heavenly father, I am forced to make the best of it.
Along the making the best of it line, I have come to the conclusion that in order to deal with the turgid nature of things, I need more rest. By rest I do not mean sleep. I mean I need more rest. I need more time at peace taking joy in the blessings that are abundant in my current planting. Doing so seems like a cop out to some looking at from the outside, but it is certainly not. If I am meant to be here, and the inescapable conclusion is that I am, then I have to savour what it means to be here. I need to understand more clearly what it means to be here.
The reasons I am where I am at this point I am aware of but a fraction. The Father knows them all, and as He is my provider, my guardian, and my protector, he is accountable for them all. My responsibility is do the work put before me to do, and to fully inhabit the roles given to me. The means I need to be the best father, husband, son, brother, uncle, employee, leader, and writer that I can.
In order to fulfill that, I need to be filled and equipped for those tasks. If the Bible is true, it says that each and every day I am granted all of that if I am plugged into the source appropriately and properly. So this feeling of being a dry and worn out sponge means I am not plugged in properly which means there are things I am not doing correctly in some aspects of my life.
So the search to fully inhabit the rest side of the work / rest rhythm needs work is the appropriate conclusion to arrive at. I need to find ways to not worry about the work before me when I am not in the work side of the equation. I need to recognize that I am only one man, and that if I have done the best I can in the work side, and made the most effective use of that time, then when I am at rest then I shouldn't be thinking about the work. Easier said than done, but it is something I need to be doing.
Sure I need to take better care of myself. I need to find ways to push the health side of things into the equation. It means fewer unhealthy things, or at least smaller indulgences in the things that are not entirely in my best interest. It means more activity when I am in rest mode. It means walks when I want to sit and sulk. It means being with my family when they are with me, and not isolated trying to put in more work.
Rest appears to be my word for the day. I hope I have not overused it in this humble post, but it is something I need to take seriously, and felt the need to share those that read my missives... Thanks to all of those that read my stuff. You are the reason I do this.
It appears that what I am experiencing is either the new normal, or the birth paigns of a new phase of my life. In either case, I have been forced to take stock of where I am currently and evaluate it with a critical eye. I am not fond of certain aspects of this current context. I am less fond of certain new additions to it. Even less fond of the lack of control I have over a lot of it.
Which brings me to my first admission. I am not a person that handles powerless well. It has been a fundamental truth that has defined me for my entire existence. I hate being unable to change things. I hate being able to fix things. I despise the things that force me into a place of powerlessness.
This leaves me in a simple place. I can either continue to tolerate that which makes me powerless or I can part company with those things and move along to something else. I am keenly interested to use jeffersonian language, 'in the course of human events there come moments in which...'. I am hesitant to do so, as I am person given to hyperbole and in some cases over-reaction.
I am forced to spend time in quiet contemplation and consider the situation before me. Not in that angry with it, screw this sort of fashion, which is little more than complaining and whining. Rather I have been reviewing it in detail and from a holistic perspective. I have taken time to pray and meditate on the situation.
The inescapable conclusion I have arrived at it is simple, I am where I am supposed to be at least for the immediate future. God planted me here for a reason, and that reason has not been invalidated currently, so until a clear exit visa is granted by my heavenly father, I am forced to make the best of it.
Along the making the best of it line, I have come to the conclusion that in order to deal with the turgid nature of things, I need more rest. By rest I do not mean sleep. I mean I need more rest. I need more time at peace taking joy in the blessings that are abundant in my current planting. Doing so seems like a cop out to some looking at from the outside, but it is certainly not. If I am meant to be here, and the inescapable conclusion is that I am, then I have to savour what it means to be here. I need to understand more clearly what it means to be here.
The reasons I am where I am at this point I am aware of but a fraction. The Father knows them all, and as He is my provider, my guardian, and my protector, he is accountable for them all. My responsibility is do the work put before me to do, and to fully inhabit the roles given to me. The means I need to be the best father, husband, son, brother, uncle, employee, leader, and writer that I can.
In order to fulfill that, I need to be filled and equipped for those tasks. If the Bible is true, it says that each and every day I am granted all of that if I am plugged into the source appropriately and properly. So this feeling of being a dry and worn out sponge means I am not plugged in properly which means there are things I am not doing correctly in some aspects of my life.
So the search to fully inhabit the rest side of the work / rest rhythm needs work is the appropriate conclusion to arrive at. I need to find ways to not worry about the work before me when I am not in the work side of the equation. I need to recognize that I am only one man, and that if I have done the best I can in the work side, and made the most effective use of that time, then when I am at rest then I shouldn't be thinking about the work. Easier said than done, but it is something I need to be doing.
Sure I need to take better care of myself. I need to find ways to push the health side of things into the equation. It means fewer unhealthy things, or at least smaller indulgences in the things that are not entirely in my best interest. It means more activity when I am in rest mode. It means walks when I want to sit and sulk. It means being with my family when they are with me, and not isolated trying to put in more work.
Rest appears to be my word for the day. I hope I have not overused it in this humble post, but it is something I need to take seriously, and felt the need to share those that read my missives... Thanks to all of those that read my stuff. You are the reason I do this.