In most cases, the turgid frothy nature of the typical postmodern existence tends to rob us all of the joy that should be inherent in it.  There are many ways this happens.  In most cases it is an imperceptibly slow death by a million paper cuts process.  Of course the brutal to and fro of running from this fire to the next tends to do this also.

However it happens is for the most part without relevance.  The key thing is that it happens.  We end up trudging along just having the 'time to make the donuts' experience in things that should provide us with great joy.  We end up not seeing the vibrant colors in our lives.  We end up moving about our lives without actually inhabiting it.

I have to admit that I have suffered from this malady of late.  The convergence of life, work, emergencies of the moment, and other items, left me feeling down.  I found myself struggling to see the good in the moment.  I was expecting in each moment for the next shoe to drop, and things in that context going from bad to worse.  Now some of that expectation is based on that is what I had been experiencing and some of it was based on just the daily grind wearing me out.

I am not sure how long I resided in this state.  It was awhile.  I suppose it had been a fair amount of time, months not weeks.  I was frustrated in the midst of all of it.  My temper was short.  My patience was virtually nonexistent.  I knew I was in an state that needed to change, I just did not know how.

The how of the change came in the course of a 'good weekend'.  I had a weekend that was amazing on all levels.  It was a time in which everything I touched went well.  I had success in all things that usually were frustrating as heck.  In each of the moments over the course of the weekend I found myself in a much better state over all.

Some of this could be described as a mood elevation.  Some of it was a good series of events. Some of it was just being contact with much more positive things.  Mostly it was about a divine experience that I did not even know was happening at the moment.  The outlook I had going into the weekend had become a set of scales over my eyes preventing me from seeing the truth of my situation.

I can only say that God intervened somehow, and the scales of this outlook were ripped from my eyes.  I began to see my world for what it was.  I began to see that value in the moment, and not just the problems.  I was able to more accurately appreciate my placement and the the things residing in that placement.

In short, the weekend involved a rapid fire series of moments in which I was reminded of just what is in my life.  I was able to reconnect with the good in my life.  I was able to recover the joy in my immediate context.  There is a lot good about my life.  There is a lot of positive things going on in my life.  I had forgot about all of it.  It took being reminded of it, to change my outlook.

Reminders are a good thing.  Having a weekend full of them doesn't happen often, but when it does it is powerful.  When it comes in like a torrent of good washing out all the negativity, it is amazing.  In my moment in particular, I was unable to fully articulate it.  On some level, I found myself without words, which is a rare thing.

The key I have found is not to focus on the problems to the exclusion of the good.  There are reasons we endure the less than positive elements of our lives.  Those reasons are there, we just have to remember them.  We have to on a daily basis stay in connection to the good.  The negative must be faced clearly, but not to the place that we assume that is all that exists.

The end of this is simple, remember the joy that brought you to this place.  Remember the why that you brought you to this moment.  It goes without saying that dwelling in the land of joy is hard, but it is better than the alternative.

Speculative fiction in its many forms can devolve into a host of one trick ponies and single string banjos.  They can land in places that be described as 'because spaceships', 'because vampires', or 'because barbarians and orcs'.  In doing so, it becomes an archetype that is more about the manipulation of the trope, that it is about anything else.

I have struggled with this in my own writing.  The power of the form is robbed if it only about the management of the form by articulating the archetype in some fashion.  The writing becomes a dry read of the thing.  The issue is not that the writing is bad at that point, but rather that it can be so much more.

The best analogy is a good steak.  There is a huge gap between a good steak that is prepared according to a recipe card and what I call the 'other'.  By this I mean a steak that is lovingly cut, trimmed, and seasoned.  A steak that is crafted with delicate handling.  A steak that is cooked with a laser like focus.  It is treated to diligent care as if it is the only steak to be cooked, or cooked for someone for whom the cook has a deep and abiding connection to.  Both steaks will be good, but the end results will be vastly different and the 'other' will be significantly better.

So it is with this form of fiction.  It must become something genuine.  It must become more than the sum of its archetypes.  It must transcend its components.  It needs to become a fully functioning thing, an entity all its own.  Anything short of this is a fail.

In short, I am not arguing against fantastical elements in this form of fiction, far from it.  This form of writing in nearly all cases requires it.  What I am saying is that the fantastical elements need to be an integral part of either storytelling in general or in advancing the narrative in specific.  They need to be more than the eagles of Tolkien's works.  They need to be more than an interesting escape hatch that digs the story out of a plot hole.

The story in all cases must come first.  The elements selected must be chosen with care.  There must be a deliberate sense of purpose for each one.  They must be seasoned beyond what they bring from their 'out of the package' stock level.  Developing a compelling narrative is more important than the dragon, the orc, the spaceship, the black hole, etc.  If the trick, the turn, the artifact is the most vital part of the story, the story will fall flat.

The key thing to remember is that barbarians will get you in the door, but if there is not a there there, the user will walk away.  Good writing, and compelling story are just as important when crafting the tale, when seasoning the soup as it were.

I have spent some time lately considering the essential nature of our current world.  We live in a world dominated by harshness and incivility.  The human species has descended to a place in which we are cold and cruel to each other without giving it a second thought.  We tend to respond to everything with either a how does this benefit me cost benefit analysis or with a cynical zero sum gain perspective.  Let me be clear, before I get rolling here, I am including myself in this here.

Suffering half a world away, fails to motivate us to action.  Horror, barbarism, and tyranny doesn't cause us to flinch.  When that suffering causes millions of people to flee in a refugee migration that we have not seen in at least this generation, it causes us to respond with a less than kind answer.  I am willing to concede that our response is not an answer technically speaking as it is much more a reaction.

To look closely at the refugee crisis that Europe is experiencing, it is important to carefully consider it in detail.  It is clear that there is a direct connection between the various radical Islamist conflicts in the middle east and Africa and the sources of the refugees.  It is clear that there is a direct connection between a lack of an effective foreign policy on the part of the so called 'Western Democracies' and the barbarism being inflicted on these populations, which is causing the people to flee in the millions.  It is also clear that the mass migration is leaving behind a destabilized horror.

Rather than look at the situation from a holistic perspective, we are attempting to treat the symptom, refugees, rather than the problem.  The problem is the conflicts in their home countries.  In most cases it can be tracked back to the horrors of a form of religion that bears only a tangential connection to that religion.  Isis in Syria, Boko Haram in central Africa, the Houthis rebels in Yemen all track back to this barbaric form of religion that has more in common with the sixth century than it does with a modern expression of Islam, and with man's search for meaning and connection to the divine.

As long as we treat the symptom, and fight over refugee quotas, and which nations will accept them, the real problem will not abate.  There will always be millions more refugees on the move until we address the problem.  The problem being those willing to visit horrors on their fellow man that we have no capacity for which we have no ability to find a balance.  The solution to this is not one that many people want to speak.

There is only one remedy for evil.  It takes people willing to risk their lives to stand up to it.  It takes weapons, guns, bullets, airplanes, and armies to push back the forces of hate.  In a world that has seen numerous wars in recent years, few want to accept this as a valid choice.  We are as a world tired of killing.  We are tired of war.  We are tired of what it costs.

Sadly, in a world governed by the aggressive use of force, there is not another choice.  How do you sanction a non-state actor apart from killing him?  How do you corral evil without bullets and bayonets?  How do you stop barbarism and tyranny without slaughtering those implementing it? The answer is that you can't.  The answer is that the only choice is to confront evil with force, and ending their reign of terror by ending them.

It is sad that that is the only choice.  It is sad that there is not another choice.  It is sad that our species has advanced so very little, that killing those willing to do evil upon the rest of their culture is the only way of preventing the evil from continuing and from spreading to other places. That is however the world in which we live.  Rather than bemoaning the state of things, the fundamental nature of our current climate, it is rather important to get on with the work at hand.

Clearly intervention is needed.  Clearly the evil needs to be eradicated.  The method of doing so I live to wiser heads to determine.  I would suggest a low intensity special operations campaign.  It makes sense to take the best warriors the world has in small numbers and set them upon the ones perpetrating evil, carrying our horror, conducting unspeakable acts.  A regiment of warriors that grasp discretionary warfare in a modern world, have the skills needed, and the willingness to go where evil lives and end it, is needed.

How that is conducted, the rules it lives by, how it engages, who it kills and who it spares, are details to be worked out.  Reaching the conclusion that ending the evil is what I am talking about here.  We cannot allow this to continue.  We cannot allow new and ever more creative methods of killing our fellow man to be developed, implemented, and posted on the internet.  We need to stop those that think their god has told them to behead people and put it on the internet.

How this connects to kindness as a broader theme is the question you are asking now I am sure. Here it is, kindness is not found in wrestling with the question of the refugees, though that is an important thing to do.  It is found in solving the broader problem that caused the refugee to flee in the first place.  Kindness is found in restoring peace and harmony to the places where it is not. It is found in routing evil from its hiding places and ending it.

Now that does not mean we do not need to deal with the refugee issue.  It means that treating the climate that causes refugees in the first is more important.  It means bringing peace and harmony to where it is not as a means of making it possible for the refugee to go home, is a greater act of kindness than in just finding a kind way to deal with just the refugee.

Kindness in a modern context means treating all of humanity with dignity.  Kindness means finding a means to see the 'other' as an equal, deserving of love and compassion.  Kindness means finding a means of protecting those that cannot protect themselves.  Kindness means leaving behind our continuing search for our own creature comforts to provide a place at the table in the modern world for those we may have left behind somehow.

Some of the problem in these places is a lack of adequate development.  Some of the problem is that the choice is to become someone's gun or to die of starvation.  In such situations bad choices are better than no choice at all.  And for those that claim we spend lots of money on development, I have to agree we do.  We have gotten precious little in return for the money spent.  Much of it has made the corrupt wealthy, and given the evil in such places a rallying cry to their cause.

If we reform the developmental aid process to make it accountable for results, and make the goals actually building infrastructure that the society in all these cases desperately needs, the money could be spent more effectively.  If we bypass the UN entirely and make projects like connecting all of Africa with roads, electrical lines, clean water, and sanitation a priority we might actually begin to solve Africa's problems.

What I am saying is this, kindness must take the form of solving problems.  We can solve immediate context problems sure, but the long range causes of the problems needs to be on our radar.  We need to feed the hungry sure.  We also need to ensure that they can feed themselves long term at the same time.  We need to clothe the naked sure, but we need to provide the climate in which they can clothe themselves tomorrow, next week, and next month.  Anything short of that is not kindness.

In the midst of trying times, I find it always helpful to start by admitting the truth.  I am just a human being.  I am trying to be better on a daily basis, but at the end of the day, I am human.  I am prone to making mistakes.  I am prone to the weaknesses that are endemic to the human condition.  

I speak when I should be silent.  At times my brain is closed, when it should be open.  I fly off at the mouth in boastful speech, when I should listen.  I am far from the strong all knowing man I wish myself to be.  And I am a sinner.

In saying all of those things, I do not say them lightly.  I do not boast in my weakness, far from it.  It is not an excuse to not do what I should.  It is in admitting the existing state, that I can take stock of who I am, and what I am capable of.

It is in the place of a ruthless form of honesty that I can understand my incapacity, and my lack that can only be fulfilled in my relationship with God.  Anything other than this geography leads me to think more highly of myself than I ought.  Anything that supplants this place of my weakness fulfilled in Christ, is not from on high.  Anything else leads me away from the path I should traverse.

I believe that God is good.  On good days, God is good.  On bad days, God is good.  On the many days in between, God is still good.  Admitting this truth is pivotal for me as well, because it helps me understand the source of good in my life, and my role in its presence.

I am reminded in moments like these that the path laid out before in broken glass, is good and the direct result of the implicit will of the one for whom good is the primary nature.  I am reminded that good has nothing to do with circumstance.  It has nothing to do with emotions.  It has nothing to do with a bank account, or material things.

Good is defined by the one who is good.  Good is not hate.  It is not anger.  It is not prideful. Good proceeds from love, and in that love perfection and harmony reside.  Good is defined largely by the love it proceeds from and the nature of its impact upon the intended.

I am not one that has a vast storehouse of answers on this subject.  I myself struggle in difficult times.  In the moments in which my character is revealed to me, and my soul is tried, I am reminded that it is good.  And it came from the one that is good.  It does not make me happy by any means, especially in the circumstances that I am powerless to do much more than advise and consent.  (For those that don't know me well, allow me admit, I don't handle situations in which I am utterly powerless well.)

And somehow the end of all of this comes back to, my God is good.  God is my source.  He directs me.  I sometimes fail to follow the direction.  My failure to follow is not his fault by any means.  The truth is this, I live a life in the place of my planting by the one who tends the garden. It is in grasping this truth, that I find a clear understanding of my purpose, and my destiny such as it is.

In reviewing the comments my recent post on this Kim David situation, (blog entry from 9/4/2015), I did see a couple of areas where my comments need to be clarified somewhat.  There are also a couple things I failed to point out.

The first item that came up was the seemingly obvious comparison to the current lawsuit regarding a flight attendant who happens to be a practicing Muslim, that was suspended for not serving alcohol.  Here's a link to the story...   [click here]  The summary of the second item is as follows.  A woman was hired to be a flight attendant for what appears to be a regional airline. Shortly after being hired she converted to Islam.  It appears she took this seriously as she refused to serve alcohol, and wore a head scarf.

It appears that the flight attendant made arrangements so that other members of the crew could serve alcohol.  That appears to have been going well without incident.  Until that is, there was a complaint filed by a fellow flight attendant about her head scarf.  It appears once the airline investigated the head scarf complaint the flight attendant in question was suspended for a period of time, and may be fired at the end of the suspension.

After researching the story, it is not clear to me at this point what exactly she was suspended for, and the airline is refusing to comment on a personnel matter.  The whole thing is currently in litigation and likely will be for some time.  It is an open question as to what she was suspended for, and what the overall situation was as a whole.  Is this a uniform deviation matter?  If it is I find it highly unlikely that the airline would have taken such drastic measures.

I don't believe there are enough facts overall to sustain this comparison at this point.  I believe there is a lot more to this story than what is currently in the press.  If I had to guess, I would say this is not this employee's first trip to her airline's human resources section.  And would be willing to bet my paycheck that her religious beliefs have nothing at all to do with the airline's actions to date.  It is unlikely the whole story will be told on this.

Having said all that, let me say that even if the comparison was valid, which there is no way to know for sure, there are a few key differences in the examples.  The flight attendant was not an elected official.  She did not take an oath to uphold the laws of the land.  She was not work at a nexus of the rights of the public at large being provided.  The fact that she was a Muslim appears, in my view, to be a tangential factor, at best, in this equation.  

Even if it weren't she did not take an oath of office, she was not charged with fulfilling the legal needs and requirements of those that came before her.  She was not a part of the implementation of the judicial system.  She was not the deciding factor from an elected executive level in whether or not someone could avail themselves of their constitutional rights as defined by our nation's panoply of law and regulation.  This is an unfair comparison on the order of an apple and a blue whale.  Not even close to being similar enough to form a functional comparison.

This does bring me to the next item.  One that I failed to mention in my first foray on this subject. We do not want a clerk of courts to be making decisions as to which laws they will abide by and enforce based on their religious beliefs.  We do not want to live in a world in which the community as a whole is held hostage to the religious views of their local clerk of courts.  What if the person did not believe that divorce was acceptable?  Would it be acceptable if the clerk was saying my religion teaches me that divorce is a sin, and I can't be a party to that, so I won't enter any orders relating to it.  Everyone in my county has to stay married.  Would that be acceptable?

If the clerk refused to provide service to anyone not wearing the proper attire as dictated by their religion?  Would it be acceptable for a clerk to refuse to provide service to someone who happens to be female, because of their religion's views on the proper role of women in society?  Would it be acceptable for the clerk to say that no one can have eaten or handled pork prior to coming to their office?  There are a host of other examples that could come up with this standard.  The clear answer is no it would not be acceptable.  


This bleeds into the fact that the clerk of courts office handles a lot of sensitive items that could be negatively impacted if religious belief is an acceptable reason to deny people services of that office.  These offices handle things that must be done.  Things like child support, restraining orders, and on and on.  It is obvious that a divergence between what is legal and an acceptable in a secular society and the teachings of a particular faith, cannot be a basis for refusing to provide the service required of an elected official.  

We can argue about the state of the law.  We can argue about how we got here.  We can argue about the validity of a court legislating from the bench.  What we can't have is an official charged with upholding the laws of the land refusing to provide a service on the basis of faith, when faith and law diverge.  If the courts say that it is legal for two people of the same sex to marry, and that is the state of the matter, then a clerk has no choice but to comply with the law.  If they cannot comply then they have to step back out of the way and allow the service to be provided over their objections.  Anything else is contemptible behavior. 

In closing, let me say, that I would hold this opinion regardless of the religion of the clerk in question.  I would hold this opinion even if this were not about religion.  If this were about any other issue, I would say clerks are not allowed to let their personal views get in the way of the implementation of things their offices are charged to do.  If the clerk in question cannot hold their nose and do it, or allow someone else in their office to do it for them, then they have no business being a clerk of courts.  Thus endeth the rant.

The internet seems to be buzzing about the Kim Davis issue.  In case you have been living under a rock, or in the Australian outback, here's a brief summary.  Kim Davis is a Clerk of Court for a County in Kentucky, the exact one is not relevant to this.  She has taken the position that she will not issue any marriage licenses to same sex couples.  In the heat of all this, she stop the clerk of court for the county from issuing any marriage licenses.  As you would assume this has caused a furor.  Rather predictably it has involved the courts.


The court system has demanded compliance with the law of the land.  She has completely refused.  She was given multiple opportunities to back down in this matter.  She has refused. She claims that her faith tells her that she can't do it.  The courts told her that she did not have a choice in the matter.  She refused to comply.  She is now in jail for contempt of court.


There are a lot of people saying an awful lot about this situation.  Some are claiming she is where she belongs.  Some are saying the whole thing makes no sense.  Some are saying it is a matter of persecution.


Let me be clear, we cannot have office holders with a responsibility to uphold the law of land in defiance of that law.  When someone is elected to office, and they take the oath of office, part of their personal liberty evaporates.  That oath becomes their driving mandate during their term of office.  That oath includes the concept of upholding all the laws of the land.  It does not include an exception for the ones you don't like.  It does not give you an out if your faith says otherwise.  It is a binary thing you are either in compliance or you are not.


Ms Davis, failed in her obligation to uphold the law of the land.  It does not matter how you feel about the law.  How I feel about the law.  It is the law of the land that same sex couples have a right to obtain marriage licenses.  If her conscience precluded her from complying with the law that left her with as I set two options.  She could comply with the law or she could resign her position and allow the people of her county through whatever process they have find a replacement for her.


When she refused to comply, the courts jailed her for it.  I do not see this as persecution at all. She defied the courts.  She had her, 'here I stand I can do no other', moment.  And the courts rightly judged that she was in contempt.  She has ended up exactly where she was going to be given the trajectory of this matter.


I believe fervently that office holders cannot defy the laws they are assigned to uphold.  If they do so, they do so at their own peril.  I also believe that the legitimate needs of any county's clerk of courts office cannot be a part of some political blood sport.  There are just too many things that these offices have to do, have to do correctly, and have to be punctual about getting done for some three ring circus to erupt over someone's personal belief's.


It is sad to see this thing happen, but Ms Davis got to where she is by putting her own beliefs ahead of the law of the land.  That sort of conflict cannot be tolerated for any reason.  

I was pondering what was on my mind tonight, and of that what was worthy of mention here. Some nights that is a simple thought process and other nights, not so much.  Tonight falls into the latter category.  Today was good by all measures, but it was turbulent and chaotic.  Two things of which I am far from fond.  Two things that drive me out of my safe zone, and force me from the contemplative.

I recognize that they are two vital things.  They are two of the key tools of the harbinger of change.  Without them things remain much as the equilibrium of the status quo will allow.  If the current state is undesirable then turbulence and chaos must be endured at the very least in order for change to take place.  It doesn't mean I have to like it though.

In the course of the day today, I was thinking about a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless. Not long ago, he made a radical change in his life and went through a divorce.  The reasons for his doing this were many, and they were all valid.  In the wake of this having completed the process, he grappled with what to do now.  He decided on a course that is far from the customary.  He has resisted the urge to dive into another marriage.  And he has embarked on a completely different course.

He decided that he was going to start knocking things off his bucket list.  He decided to use his vacation and go see places.  He decided to hit a host of baseball parks he had always wanted to go to.  He decided to do things like hang gliding and water jetting.  He decided to embrace the moment, and live in the now.  There is of course a special lady in his life, but this season of going places, seeing things, and knocking things of his bucket list seems to be his priority.

In all honesty, I am a mixture of emotions as it relates to his situation.  I admire him for deciding what was important to him right now and have the courage to stick with it.  Doing this for him now makes perfect sense, he has no children, no mortgage, or the like.  He can spend his time on things on his bucket list without other priorities shooting that plan in the foot, the arse, and the head.  As you can tell, I am also a little jealous.

Before I let my envy and jealousy get the better of me, I usually remind myself that I had a wanderer period in my life.  I had a vagabond period.  Granted my vagabond period was spent in a Navy uniform, but it still happened.  I went forth and went where I was sent, but I still enjoyed the ride.

I saw both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.  I swam in both.  I crossed the continent several times over.  I saw the lights of Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York.  I saw a sunrise of the Atlantic and in the same day saw the sunset on the Pacific.  I saw the Smoky, and Rocky mountains.  I traveled across the southwest.  Somewhere in the midst of all that I served my country as a submariner also.

While I am on some level envious and jealous of my friend, I do know for sure I had my time with that opportunity.  It was a blessed period.  I would not wish that away.  I just wish that my big accomplishment for a weekend was not getting the grass cut, or fixing something with the house.

On some level that phrase that struck me tonight was, 'that which remains'.  By that my consciousness is reminding that it is what remains as a result of the forces of change, is what matters.  At every turn the equation yields a house and my small brood.  I love it and them.  I am thankful for them.  It is where I am planted, where I am rooted, and where I am meant to be.

There are things on my bucket list, just as there are on every person alive today.  The key thing for me to remember is that my bucket list is the list of things I would love to do if given the chance.  Some will never happen.  Truthfully, most will never happen.  

On some level, I have to find it in me for that to be ok.  It has to be acceptable that I will not play in the NFL or pitch in the Majors.  It has to be acceptable that the closest I will come to elective office is in the voting booth every November.  It has to be cool that it is highly unlikely that I will cure cancer.  

It has to be ok that fulfilling my role as a husband and as a father will define the rest of my days. Both of those roles are huge, and take up the vast majority of my time.  Just being competent at them is vital.  My family is depending on me for that.  My community is looking to me to do my best to raise to girls to adulthood successfully.  My wife is counting on me for this and so much more.  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that being the thing that supersedes my bucket list.

I do hope that a couple things off the list can also happen while I do what I am meant to do. Seeing Stonhenge in person, walking the Redwood national forest, or going to Highgate Cemetary in London are a few things on my list.  However if they don't happen, and my life is spent fulfilling my task as husband and father then I can settle with seeing pictures of them.  That is all...