I recognize that they are two vital things. They are two of the key tools of the harbinger of change. Without them things remain much as the equilibrium of the status quo will allow. If the current state is undesirable then turbulence and chaos must be endured at the very least in order for change to take place. It doesn't mean I have to like it though.
In the course of the day today, I was thinking about a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless. Not long ago, he made a radical change in his life and went through a divorce. The reasons for his doing this were many, and they were all valid. In the wake of this having completed the process, he grappled with what to do now. He decided on a course that is far from the customary. He has resisted the urge to dive into another marriage. And he has embarked on a completely different course.
He decided that he was going to start knocking things off his bucket list. He decided to use his vacation and go see places. He decided to hit a host of baseball parks he had always wanted to go to. He decided to do things like hang gliding and water jetting. He decided to embrace the moment, and live in the now. There is of course a special lady in his life, but this season of going places, seeing things, and knocking things of his bucket list seems to be his priority.
In all honesty, I am a mixture of emotions as it relates to his situation. I admire him for deciding what was important to him right now and have the courage to stick with it. Doing this for him now makes perfect sense, he has no children, no mortgage, or the like. He can spend his time on things on his bucket list without other priorities shooting that plan in the foot, the arse, and the head. As you can tell, I am also a little jealous.
Before I let my envy and jealousy get the better of me, I usually remind myself that I had a wanderer period in my life. I had a vagabond period. Granted my vagabond period was spent in a Navy uniform, but it still happened. I went forth and went where I was sent, but I still enjoyed the ride.
I saw both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. I swam in both. I crossed the continent several times over. I saw the lights of Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York. I saw a sunrise of the Atlantic and in the same day saw the sunset on the Pacific. I saw the Smoky, and Rocky mountains. I traveled across the southwest. Somewhere in the midst of all that I served my country as a submariner also.
While I am on some level envious and jealous of my friend, I do know for sure I had my time with that opportunity. It was a blessed period. I would not wish that away. I just wish that my big accomplishment for a weekend was not getting the grass cut, or fixing something with the house.
On some level that phrase that struck me tonight was, 'that which remains'. By that my consciousness is reminding that it is what remains as a result of the forces of change, is what matters. At every turn the equation yields a house and my small brood. I love it and them. I am thankful for them. It is where I am planted, where I am rooted, and where I am meant to be.
There are things on my bucket list, just as there are on every person alive today. The key thing for me to remember is that my bucket list is the list of things I would love to do if given the chance. Some will never happen. Truthfully, most will never happen.
On some level, I have to find it in me for that to be ok. It has to be acceptable that I will not play in the NFL or pitch in the Majors. It has to be acceptable that the closest I will come to elective office is in the voting booth every November. It has to be cool that it is highly unlikely that I will cure cancer.
It has to be ok that fulfilling my role as a husband and as a father will define the rest of my days. Both of those roles are huge, and take up the vast majority of my time. Just being competent at them is vital. My family is depending on me for that. My community is looking to me to do my best to raise to girls to adulthood successfully. My wife is counting on me for this and so much more. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that being the thing that supersedes my bucket list.
I do hope that a couple things off the list can also happen while I do what I am meant to do. Seeing Stonhenge in person, walking the Redwood national forest, or going to Highgate Cemetary in London are a few things on my list. However if they don't happen, and my life is spent fulfilling my task as husband and father then I can settle with seeing pictures of them. That is all...