Frustration is the hardest thing for me to deal with most days.  This is especially true when I look at my own writing.  I tend to look at the polished final work of the authors I love, and I come away feeling less than.  I keep feeling that my writing is not that.  I find it hard in those moments to keep from descending into the downward spiral of despair, and self-loathing.

In those moments, growth for me I find is in reminding myself that comparing my work to others is not fair to me or the other author.  It is true that I am not Stephen King, Elmore Leonard, or Mickey Spillane.  However I have to keep in mind that I am still trying.  I am still making my way to the keyboard and hacking away at it.

I have to remind myself that I am not the writer I want to be.  However I am not the writer that I used to be.  My writing has improved dramatically from where it was when I began working on it as an adult.  I write more regularly.  I am able to write a lot cleaner stuff than I used to.  I am able to avoid a lot of the pitfalls that used to knock me down.

There are things I struggle with, but that is the essential nature of working with anything that is skill based.  I have to give myself the freedom to write outside of my wheelhouse.  I have to understand that I will write excellent stuff some days.  There will also be days where I will write pure crap.  My key is in reminding myself that the key is to continue coming back to my keyboard and keep trying.  

I have also discovered that it is important to have good influences to help motivating myself.  I have found a few decent podcasts that help with that.  The Podcast, 'You Should be Writing' that is hosted by Mur Laufferty is chief among these influences.  It can be found at http://murverse.com/.  Of course any podcast aggregator ca

Some days it is easy to set aside the things that cling that inhibit the writing process, and then there are the other six and a half days of the week.  I am being sarcastic to be sure.  There is however a kernel of truth in my cynical hyperbole.  There are days in which writing is easy, and nothing gets in the way.  Then there are days when that is not the case.  Days when it is anything but the case.

I tend to work from a do as much work as you can while the work can be done methodology, at least in terms of my writing.  I have learned that Mr Murphy and his laws affect every aspect of my life including my writing.  Take this week for example.  I had one night that the writing was easy and it flowed like warm honey.  The day before had been good, and pleasant, and the writing was just a natural extension of that day.  Then there is today.  A day in which if could go wrong it did.  A day in which my voice was not heard by anyone.  And a day in which chaos ruled the moment in sublime simplicity.

My struggle comes on days like today.  The temptation is to completely write off days like today and just move on, hoping that tomorrow is a better one.  I have learned that it is folly to give in to that seductive temptress's siren call.  I have learned that even in tough seasons, I as a writer have to put pen to paper.  Its not fun, its not easy, but it is what is required.

I have always struggled to keep an even keel about me regardless of external events.  I am better at it than I used to be, but I am still nowhere near as good as I need to be.  I tend to allow circumstance to drive me, and in the course of the drive, it affects me.  I wish it didn't but it is a fact, especially given that most of reality is derived from perspective and a function of outlook, it is what it is.

So on days like today, I have to remind myself, with the words of the old hymn, 'whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul'.

I have been surveying various writer's websites and their associated blogs.  I have found a trend that I found interesting trend among the majority of them that I would like to emulate.  Most of them made use of a daily blog, with the entries entered in uncomplicated fashion by date.  I have seen this used for several purposes, but I like it as a catch all for the things I am thinking about, dealing with, or participating in.  So I thought I would create a page for that and start today.

I did want to give a shout out to a friend of mine that has graciously agreed to be a beta reader for me.  You read my second draft of the opening part of the fiction piece I am working on that is loosely titled Incident at Moran right now.  I appreciated your feedback and willingness to be a beta reader for me.  Much appreciated.  I will keep your identity on the downlow and protect your secret identity...

While on the subject, I am working on a new piece of fiction set in the Port Mooresby / Isla Sandris universe of fantasy fiction.  It is about a team of monster hunters and more specifically one of the team that I have named Sylvia Kain.  The details are rather fluid at this point, but it is set in the first person.  And it will be about a village beset by a ghoul drawn from a mixture of sources, that is both honest to the Arabian mythic roots embodied in 1001 Nights, and somewhat in keeping with the current state of popular fiction on the subject.

It is a work in progress right now.  I have torn it down and rebuilt several times at this point, and have redrafted the opening twice at this point.  I am energized about it, and am enjoying doing the writing for it right now.  I am unsure about the exact length right now.  My goal is rather simple, to tell a complete tale from beginning to end.  In the course of doing that if I can make the protagonist as genuine and realistic as possible that would be a bonus.  I also want to write the encounter sequences as realistically as possible at the same time.  I am hopeful I can accomplish all that.  We will see...