Today was somewhat of a strange day. I had a sort of out of body type of day. The kind of day in which my brain was working on two tracks at the same time. This is rare for me. I was doing the things I needed to do. At the same time my brain was actively reviewing what was going on and providing active commentary to it.
This not my normal state of affairs. Normally my day is like a fall down a rat hole and follow my nose sort of experience. So the event of finding myself thinking about more than what is happening in the immediate context is different for me. To be able to keep a mental log of what I am doing and how that relates to what I need to be doing, is not normal for me.
I even had a meeting with someone in my work life that I have had serious conflicts in the past, and was able to deflect their interest in having a fight into a desire get a process hammered to help solve a problem. My brain was reminding me repeatedly during the meeting, 'he's trying to start a fight, don't let him'. The particular troll has in the past has had my number and can easily get a rise out of me. Today not so much.
Today felt like I was finding my legs for the first time in a long time. Today was all productivity and not much feeling stuck in a quagmire. It is a rare thing for me. If your immediate desire is to make fun of my day today, please hold that for a moment. I don't have many solid good days like this. Some of this is due to my own personal growth. Some of this is a confluence of understanding that the only way to move things forward is to engage with the things that vex me, and seek to make positive change.
I am feeling good about my day. I am happy. Coming home not feeling like the day was awful is different. Coming home feeling like I think I made a difference today felt good. I am not perfect. I realize that days like today are not the norm. I am just hoping that I can have more days like today than not.
This not my normal state of affairs. Normally my day is like a fall down a rat hole and follow my nose sort of experience. So the event of finding myself thinking about more than what is happening in the immediate context is different for me. To be able to keep a mental log of what I am doing and how that relates to what I need to be doing, is not normal for me.
I even had a meeting with someone in my work life that I have had serious conflicts in the past, and was able to deflect their interest in having a fight into a desire get a process hammered to help solve a problem. My brain was reminding me repeatedly during the meeting, 'he's trying to start a fight, don't let him'. The particular troll has in the past has had my number and can easily get a rise out of me. Today not so much.
Today felt like I was finding my legs for the first time in a long time. Today was all productivity and not much feeling stuck in a quagmire. It is a rare thing for me. If your immediate desire is to make fun of my day today, please hold that for a moment. I don't have many solid good days like this. Some of this is due to my own personal growth. Some of this is a confluence of understanding that the only way to move things forward is to engage with the things that vex me, and seek to make positive change.
I am feeling good about my day. I am happy. Coming home not feeling like the day was awful is different. Coming home feeling like I think I made a difference today felt good. I am not perfect. I realize that days like today are not the norm. I am just hoping that I can have more days like today than not.
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