Rejection personal, profession, or other blows goats. I talked about this at length in a previous blog entry. I did think it worth of mention at the outset of this piece. It goes without saying that any rejection even under the best of circumstances is a tough thing.
Any moment in which out desires are rebuffed, is the emotional equivalent of a blow to the groin. The truth is that there is noting that the rejection recipient can do about it. No amount of reasoning with outrageous fortune changes the end result. It cannot be bargained away. There is no reset button in life.
At some point, we have to recognize that there is only one thing to do in rejection's wake. We have to get up and start over again. No amount of grieving will change it. No amount of whining will undo it. The moment came, it went the way it went period end of sentence.
Acceptance in this moments is crucial. In part, its the only positive thing that the rejected person can do. In part, without coming to the place of acceptance we live in the past. Living in the past leads to bitterness and resentment. Those two poisons alone kill more people that heart disease and drugs combined. Being stuck in a moment of rejection, is to relive that moment over and over again without end.
Acceptance allows us to move on what's next. It does not mean that everything that happened was cool or ok. Rather it means that we find the meaning of the events. We take stock of our role in them. We review our behavior or performance related to the event. And then we move on.
This is not an easy thing to do. I have struggled and still to this day struggle with having a good outlook related to rejection. It has robbed me of years of my life, because I couldn't not find the path to acceptance. It has taken more from me than an enemy of mine ever could.
So in the last couple of days since my rejection from the online magazine, I have been trying to find the path to acceptance. I have found myself angry and struggling with it. I have found myself wanting to rehash the decision in my head. None of this is a positive response. None of this is constructive. All of it will hamper my growth and development both as an aspiring writer and as a human being.
I was able to articulate in my last piece what I needed to do. What I found is that the task of actually walking the path was much harder than I anticipated. It seemed to be littered with broken glass euphemistically speaking. I seemed to be walking on a road of fresh tar, kind of stuck in place.
So I sit here committed to both the plan and to the path before me. I need to get over the decision in short order. I need to recover myself. And I need to start over again. I need to put on the big boy pants and find the way forward. I am committed to doing this.
I documented the takeaways from the event well. There was a lot that went right. I have reviewed what went wrong. It is time to pick up the pieces and recognize that the time for starting over has come, and the time for wallowing in self-pity and self-doubt has now expired.
I have been given a gift in this regard. It seemed at first like a toxic barrel of sludge at first. As I am fond of saying, first impressions can be and often are deceiving. The rejection letter, now appropriately framed and mounted on my wall can be transformed. It can become a motivator. It can be all the motivation I need to push me forward.
When I feel down and tempted to walk away, I need to look at that letter, and ask myself, 'Were they right to reject me?' The answer will always, always, always be NO! Then the task ahead becomes a challenge. It becomes a process of proving them wrong. It becomes I have to do this, because I am better than that rejection letter.
I need to find the will in myself to keep doing the work. I need to keep honing my craft. I need to continue pushing forward with my writing. I need to keep reading and writing and learning. There will come a day for another submission to the outside world. When that day comes, I want to be ready. I want the produce of my labor to be good enough to get beyond the form rejection letter. I WILL!
Thus endeth the rant...
Any moment in which out desires are rebuffed, is the emotional equivalent of a blow to the groin. The truth is that there is noting that the rejection recipient can do about it. No amount of reasoning with outrageous fortune changes the end result. It cannot be bargained away. There is no reset button in life.
At some point, we have to recognize that there is only one thing to do in rejection's wake. We have to get up and start over again. No amount of grieving will change it. No amount of whining will undo it. The moment came, it went the way it went period end of sentence.
Acceptance in this moments is crucial. In part, its the only positive thing that the rejected person can do. In part, without coming to the place of acceptance we live in the past. Living in the past leads to bitterness and resentment. Those two poisons alone kill more people that heart disease and drugs combined. Being stuck in a moment of rejection, is to relive that moment over and over again without end.
Acceptance allows us to move on what's next. It does not mean that everything that happened was cool or ok. Rather it means that we find the meaning of the events. We take stock of our role in them. We review our behavior or performance related to the event. And then we move on.
This is not an easy thing to do. I have struggled and still to this day struggle with having a good outlook related to rejection. It has robbed me of years of my life, because I couldn't not find the path to acceptance. It has taken more from me than an enemy of mine ever could.
So in the last couple of days since my rejection from the online magazine, I have been trying to find the path to acceptance. I have found myself angry and struggling with it. I have found myself wanting to rehash the decision in my head. None of this is a positive response. None of this is constructive. All of it will hamper my growth and development both as an aspiring writer and as a human being.
I was able to articulate in my last piece what I needed to do. What I found is that the task of actually walking the path was much harder than I anticipated. It seemed to be littered with broken glass euphemistically speaking. I seemed to be walking on a road of fresh tar, kind of stuck in place.
So I sit here committed to both the plan and to the path before me. I need to get over the decision in short order. I need to recover myself. And I need to start over again. I need to put on the big boy pants and find the way forward. I am committed to doing this.
I documented the takeaways from the event well. There was a lot that went right. I have reviewed what went wrong. It is time to pick up the pieces and recognize that the time for starting over has come, and the time for wallowing in self-pity and self-doubt has now expired.
I have been given a gift in this regard. It seemed at first like a toxic barrel of sludge at first. As I am fond of saying, first impressions can be and often are deceiving. The rejection letter, now appropriately framed and mounted on my wall can be transformed. It can become a motivator. It can be all the motivation I need to push me forward.
When I feel down and tempted to walk away, I need to look at that letter, and ask myself, 'Were they right to reject me?' The answer will always, always, always be NO! Then the task ahead becomes a challenge. It becomes a process of proving them wrong. It becomes I have to do this, because I am better than that rejection letter.
I need to find the will in myself to keep doing the work. I need to keep honing my craft. I need to continue pushing forward with my writing. I need to keep reading and writing and learning. There will come a day for another submission to the outside world. When that day comes, I want to be ready. I want the produce of my labor to be good enough to get beyond the form rejection letter. I WILL!
Thus endeth the rant...
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