By way of an update on my condition, I have had to battle my own preconceived ideas about what it means to be diabetic, and how to live with this condition.  At the outset, it was my fervent hope that this disease could be driven back into some remissive state, thus allowing me to live a life unfettered by its clutches.  I had hoped I was going to be able to knock down once, and have everything proceed on to the happy ending, and the credits roll from there.  As my understanding of it has grown, I have had to accept that this is not a realistic expectation.

Living with this condition is a lot more than just medication, diet, and exercise. I didn't want this to consume me, to define me. At this point, I don't see how it can't.  As I have discovered of late, much to my sad dismay, that each and every aspect of my life now must be viewed through the prism of how diabetes is impacted by, or impacts upon the item in question.  This is not my desired destination to be sure.

Concordantly, I had to re-evaluate my views regarding this condition of mine.  The war analogy of diabetes as the foe to be vanquished in some medieval contest of wills was something that had to be set aside.  It just didn't work honestly.  With that metaphor in place, I was setting myself up for continued disappointment as this war would never end, and the battle would go on into imperpetuity.  This is not a functional analogy.  Battles and the wars in which they reside all eventually must end.  The human condition is not suited to constant warring, even if it is metaphorical in nature, and the only opponent is largely oneself.

The best metaphor I have settled upon is that of the property manager.  For reasons I have yet to fully understand, the home office has leased space in my property to this tennant, diabetes.  My task is to work with this cumbersome and poor houseguest to keep it contained and minmize its impact on the rest of the property.  To keep the property clean of its impacts, and make sure its relationship with the rest of the property is symbiotic, and not parasitic.

I know all of the talk about metaphors may seem silly to the outside observer, but for me, it works.  It helps me to properly frame the mental landscape.  It helps me to have a good outlook upon this situation.  It helps me to move forward with grace and dignity.  In short, it helps me survive.  And that from my perspective is all that matters.

I have read voraciously on this subject, and I came to the conclusion that others have had to do the very same thing.  I suppose its a good thing to realize I was not alone in this regard.  It allows me have some measure of hope that I can survive today, because my struggle is one that others face each and every day.  Not just because misery loves company, but rather mostly because it helps me to realize that others have had to walk the path I am treading, and that my responses to this, while specific to me, are not wholly my own.  Others have had to make the choices I have made, have had to tackle the obstacles that are in front of me. 

It reminds me, that I am human, and for whatever little credibility the word still holds, normal.